Geneva Kingsley

Would you like to know how much I'm glad winter is over? A whole whole lot. I'll make this short and sweet.

1. I'm going to the lake tomorrow. Generally, I need someone to come with me because well uh duh, wheelchair. It's not the best thing in the mud and the dirt and shit. If someone wants to tag along, that would be awesome. I plan on sunbathing. Maybe sticking my legs in if I can crawl down there. I wish we had a beach, the sand would be nice. I miss the sand.

2. My uncle said he wants to move. He might leave me the apartment, but let's face it. I don't make enough money at the post office to pay for the rent by myself. So I'm not sure what to do at all. When did being a grownup mean having to make stupid decisions? It's really not fair.

3. I am bored. Who wants to go get drunk? It's only Sunday night. Late.. Sunday. Damn. Ah well.

4. I don't have a four, I just like making lists.

5. I love the World Cup. Some part of me is probably bitter about never getting to play football, but I manage by playing wheelchair basketball. Speaking of sports, I went down this ramp and nearly cracked my head in. It was fantastic.

Spring's here right? Right. I wish that it felt that way. I was so bored the other day that I nearly opened someone's mail and read it because I wasn't paying attention. I caught myself at the last minute. I wonder how many people's mail gets read. Even though it's like a federal offense, I bet lots of people do it.

In any case, my boredom has lead me to do something drastic. I joined match.com or eharmony or one of those. I don't really know why, they were having this 'sale' or whatever where you get a bunch of months free. I figured I might as well. I always like meeting new people. Tired of being stuck at home because I can't go anywhere in the snow.

As much as I love this place, I'm starting to feel like I should pack up and go somewhere new. Don't you hate that feeling? Just the need to get out.

In any case, I've written to some guys, they seem nice enough. I'm always up front about the chair. No sense in wasting people's time.

Can't it be beach season already? Yes I'm going to complain until it's summer and then whine about how it's too hot. Deal.

I am decidedly sick of winter. I mean I say this every winter, but really. When a gal can't get anywhere because her wheels won't work in the snow, it becomes a problem. And every year I have to put those .. chain things on them, like you do a car. Just so I can roll myself down to work. It almost makes me wish that I could drive, but I don't know. I still don't think I'm at that point. I don't even like riding in cars, though I will if I have to. It's just a pain having to put 'snow tires' on a wheelchair. And it takes me forever and I'm not a damn mechanic.

I also seem to think that we all have like cabin fever. Maybe everyone's so cooped up that people are going batshit. Does it seem like people are going batshit? Cause it seems like people are going batshit to me. Don't know why or how, and I guess that's none of my business but man are people angry lately. Everyone needs to get out and do something. We all need vacations I think. From each other. This town is way too damn small to have any kind of privacy.

All I've done is whine, so here are so nice interesting things...

Aw nevermind, I don't have anything. I want to go to Vegas. It has to be warm there, right? Where the hell is it warm right now? Australia? Yeah, Australia.

Let's go there.

I kind of want to see Avatar, however I'm worried that I'm going to get extremely jealous. I want to be able to put myself into a huge blue cat person and be able to run and jump and have sex. That would be amazing. However it is Sam Worthington, and he's very pretty. So I'm probably going to go and see it anyway.

And I really want to play cripple football but there aren't any others but me. Sigh. Though technically I can get all you guys to just get in a wheelchair and play with me, right?

I'll bat my eyes.

Oh joy, only 23 days left of hell. I see more packages than a porn star. (Yes I did make up that joke all by myself) I've already had one lady try and mail her gerbil to her niece or something like that. It was weird and it smelled like wood chips. And the package moved. I hate when packages move. It freaks me out.

And for those of you people who don't know me, I'm Geneva. Like the city in Switzerland for which I was named and I'm pretty sure conceived in. And I'm .. pretty sure I'm the only gal on wheels, so it's easy to spot me.

[Blocked from Eden]

So, say you had this friend back when you were younger. He was like your best friend almost. And then something really bad happened to you, like really really bad and he freaked out. Or really his parents freaked out and then forced him to move away. And now about 15 years later, you find out he lives in the same place as you.

But.. he abandoned you. Maybe it wasn't his fault, but everyone had abandoned you when that bad thing happened so.. I don't know. It's weird seeing him. Do you try and be friends with him again?

I have no idea.

I've found my true calling. What I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to be like this guy.

Seriously. I need a skateboard ramp, stat.



I mean I can do wheelies and I can go down ramps and stairs with the best of them. But I can't say I've ever done a backflip. That's just fucking genius. I don't have any foam to practice in though. Hm. Ah well, it can't be that bad right? Though of course I'd need a ramp first.

For all of you lovely people:

Next Tuesday the Casino is having a costume party. We're all dressing up, feel free to dress up too.

I'm going to be Velma from Scooby Doo.

I hate epiphanies.

It just occurred to me that I'll never know what it feels like to get smacked on the ass.

Oh and I've just been told that I'm like a puppy dog. No wonder I never get a date.

I'm always wary about this time of year, it's never particularly what I'd call a good time for me. I mean the date and all. I didn't lose anyone, I'm not mourning the loss of anyone so it's not quite this weird sadness? It's just.. 11 years ago tomorrow, or I guess it's today now, I was out minding my own business, walking home from school. Granted I should have been on the sidewalk, but I wasn't in the middle of the road. I know for a fact I wasn't because I was talking to some kid right next to me and he was balancing himself on the curb as he walked. Anyway, I don't remember much. I remember there was a yell, probably telling me to get out of the way. I don't remember being hit, or the aftermath. But the kid I was walking with said that the guy just kind of swerved around and then went straight for me.

He saw the car I guess, I didn't. Whatever. He said I flipped up onto the hood, rolled up onto the windshield and then down off the side of his car. He said the sound he heard when he hit me wasn't anything like he heard before. I guess that was the sound of my back breaking. I woke up in the hospital five days later. They weren't even sure I was going to live, much less walk again.

I still don't like being in cars all that much. I'm not scared like I used to be but it's not the easiest thing for me to get into them. I think the hardest part wasn't so much losing my legs but knowing that I'm never going to be the girl who falls in love, gets married, has kids, any of that stuff. All of that being taken away, whatever I was supposed to be before the accident. Anyway, since it's kind of a weird day for me, I think I'll spend it in my room eating Ben and Jerry's until I have to go to work.

I... can't find my chair.

So whoever took it, whether you're trying to be funny or not is, well a huge pain in my ass. So give it back, and I won't run you over with it when I find you.

Who the hell would do that anyway? I mean a prank is one thing but this is just being an asshole.

Unless I didn't leave the parking break on and it's rolled overboard. I wouldn't be surprised, that would just be fantastic.

I'm back. Who missed me?

Oh and thank you to all of you lovely people who helped me up on the horse. Normally I'm not very good with letting others help me do things, I guess I've got a lot of pride but it wasn't all that bad. Very glad I don't have to deal with being sore. It's one of those upsides to not being able to walk.

And it's June! And we're in Scotland. I am so getting drunk and picking up a hot Scottish guy. Who's with me?

On the way up to this retreat thing. I'm still not convinced about the horses and the cripple going well together. But I guess it could be worse. We could have gone skiing and then I'd totally be SOL. We should have done this sort of thing when we were in Africa, and everyone goes on safari together. That would have been total boss. But at least this week will be filled with lots of sleep and no work, that's always a plus.

I'm starting to feel like I need a hobby. Maybe I should actually start reading books. What an incredible idea, I know. I don't know where to start though. Any good entertaining books out there? Maybe a series of books? I've always liked those. Wonder if this place has a book shop.

I look forward to counting how many times I have to call and whine to someone that I can't reach something, staying in this .. ranch or whatever the fuck it is we're staying in.

Looks like I'll be staying out in the Teepee alone because there's no way my chair's getting up in one of those things.

Or on a horse.

Why do I have to go again? It's not like I can do any of that stuff.

It's my birthday tomorrow (today technically) who wants to go get drunk or something?

Also safari's in Africa? Totally amazing. You all should have come with us, we had such a blast.

Forgive the randomness, but I kind of want this shirt

Sigh. Lack of money upsets me.

Edit: Oh and this one

Hey does anyone wanna come with me sightseeing when we get to Cape Town? I've always wanted to go, but I probably shouldn't go alone because knowing me I'll just get stuck somewhere and can't get out.

I am dying to go to the beach too, but taking the chair out onto the sand is such a pain in the ass. And by that I mean it seriously doesn't work. I'd have to be carried or something all over and no one wants to do that. I never get to go stick my feet in the ocean. Sigh.

Think I might watch the sunset though since at least I can do that. Maybe I'll have a mai tai while I watch.

You know, just a cautionary word of advice for people? Just because there are some of us that can't use our legs doesn't mean we can't feel other things like I don't know.. emotions.

I wouldn't say I'm used to rejection. People like me. I'm fun and personable. But lately it's just.. I love my job, I really do. But when you sit all day long and people come to your table all the time and sometimes they hit on me. And that's all fine and good. I don't hit on people back, not while I'm on the clock.

It's just that when it's time for break or time for me to go and I move back and they realize that I'm in a chair, that I've been in a chair this whole time they all get this disgusted look on their face. Like a 'oh god I just hit on a cripple' look. People just bum me out sometimes y'know?

Who knew hanging out with your bosses could be such an experience. At least they're fun. I feel bad for some of of you who have boring bosses. They're both a handful I can tell, and I just had lunch.

I've also learned an invaluable lesson about popping wheelies on the deck. Totally not a good idea. I might have bruised my ass bone but I can't actually tell.